I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
