DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you never un-have a 4some
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
