every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
