So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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