member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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