did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
