My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
