Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Fuck appropriateness.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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