So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
