OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
