I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
