So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just cut my nipple shaving
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
