you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize