is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
