Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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