You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
