every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
