I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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