and you said cock pushups were impossible
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
