last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
