Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
