oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
