Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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