I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
