he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
