Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
