we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
