just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They took my balls.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
