It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
