Please, let me fuck your mom
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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