guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
