do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
