I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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