we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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