please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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