she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
