I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
