Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
