all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
