Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
