she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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