He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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