Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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