Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
