this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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