We're like a lot better than the average bears
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
His nipple licking is glorious
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