Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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