there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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