Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
