It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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