Duck Duck Cougar?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
