I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize
